RACHEL
So, the "Knight of the Realm"
Is the Knight on my Couch;
And, oh, he's impossibly hot!
With courtly chic,
And a painted physique --
Plus God knows what else he's
got...

And whenever we talk
I can say what I think,
With nary a quizzical glare.
From Keats and Poe
To Millais and Rousseau,
I know that he'll stay all there.

My neuroses grow terse
In his gallant caress,
So I'm free to express my desires;
Those sensual fires,
That I used to repress
Shall explode in a sea of verse!

God, I hope he's no slouch,
That cultured Knight on my couch.

Instrumental break

PAUL
...So I told them to take a hike.
RACHEL
I thought you'd like lecturing. You do plenty of it to me...

PAUL
Yes, but that's different. I hate public speaking... unless I'm
winning something.

RACHEL
Aren't you giving that tour
tomorrow?

PAUL
The ramblings of an old man hardly constitute a lecture.

Besides, it's my last chance to be important
before I fade into obscurity.

RACHEL
You're being melodramatic. You'll live on in the archives.

PAUL
(sarcastic)
I can't wait.

The VAMP comes back as it was before. AMBIENT SOUNDS fade
down; Paul continues whinging (silently) while Rachel turns
away and sings...

RACHEL
But it's hardly his sex
That defines his allure,
For, oh, is it far more acute.
My wistful dreams,
With their mid-century themes,
Are finally not so moot!

As we share of our lives
With unbridled delight,
I'll finally feel like I'm young;
His joie de vivre
Shall discreetly retrieve
The source of my sturm und drang!

And I won't be afraid
Of a tender romance,
But I'll still be appealingly real:
I won't make some spiel
Over who wears the pants,
And I'll still call a spade a spade.

And he won't be a grouch,
That gallant Knight on my Couch!

PAUL
Can you lend me a hand, Rachel?

Rachel goes to help him.

RACHEL
Look, you're becoming a museum piece already.

PAUL
Ha, Ha.

MUSIC fades out. AMBIENT SOUNDS rise...

Reginald is attempts to write poetry in the park.

REGINALD
(frustrated)
My star was not born under a
rhyming tree!

JEROME
(casually walking by)
Rhyming planet.

REGINALD
What?

JEROME
"I was not born under a rhyming
planet, nor I cannot woo in
festival terms." You know, from Much Ado About Nothing.

REGINALD
Much Ado about Nothing?

JEROME
It's a play.

REGINALD
I know not of this well-titled
play. Doth it bespeak my current
state of woe?

JEROME
Are you in love?

Reginald nods.

JEROME (CONT’D)
Then yeah.

Jerome sees Reginald's poetry.

JEROME (CONT’D)
Mind if I have a look?

He leans over behind Reginald, looking intent.

JEROME (CONT’D)
The verse is solid, but the paint
imagery's a bit much.

REGINALD
(defensive)
It was my state until quite recently!

JEROME
I'm just saying. Maybe some
variety would be good...

Reginald sees his point.

REGINALD
Still, I think there is some merit
in this...

Reginald holds up the paper. MUSIC ENTERS.

REGINALD (song)
My maid is as fair as a fresh-painted rose,
And sweet as a luminous crest.
Her love shall be true as a portrait's ripose,
Until we are both laid to rest.

It ends on a MINOR CHORD. Jerome winces a little.

JEROME
That's really depressing.

REGINALD
Why, no it is profound! For how can love be spoken of without a little sorrow?

JEROME
You wrote a bad poem, so you call
it 'profound' - it's the oldest trick in the
book.

REGINALD
Well, I should like to see you do better!

JEROME
She floats on wings of silken grace,
Her beauty plain to all who see.
Your charms have pierced my lovelorn face,
So please float down, my Emily.

REGINALD
'Tis...adequate. The final rhyme is
strained.

JEROME
She thought it was pretty good.

REGINALD
I'm sure 'tis good enough for thy
common wench, but my Rachel is not
among that number!

Suddenly, Reginald has an idea.

REGINALD (CONT’D)
Perhaps this new-spun verse shall
do the trick...

My Rachel is sweet,
My Rachel is fair;
Am I fair enough for her?
My verse is so stiff
That my songs all despair,
But still I'm in love with her.

The final CHORD rolls. Jerome is a little impressed.

JEROME
Actually, that was better.

Reginald looks pleased. MUSIC BUILDS. Jerome takes a seat, and they start working on the poem together...

Back to Rachel. The initial VAMP returns (in a slightly altered fashion):

RACHEL
So, tonight I'll head home
Knowing someone is there,
And then -- maybe dinner for two?
Then I'll learn what it's like
To be part of a pair,
And build on the Rachel I knew.

I'll be partly in sync
With contemporary life,
And not live just through archives and books.
I'll see how it looks
As my daydreams grow rife,
And to hell with what people think!

So, I'll lay out a plan
So I can jump
Maybe tonight...
That perfect Knight on my Couch!

Rachel walks off whistling as the song FADES OUT.